Self-Care & why it’s just as important as brushing your teeth.

Brushing your teeth has long been recognised as a standard yet essential daily habit. You wouldn’t consider leaving the house for work without brushing your teeth, you wouldn’t meet your Bestie for a coffee date without brushing your teeth and you definitely wouldn’t go on a date without brushing your teeth. But WHY? Is it because your parents taught you from a young age that oral hygiene is essential? Is it because you’ve perhaps been on the unpleasant receiving end of someone who forgot to brush their teeth? Or maybe its because we have the importance of good oral health plastered on adverts between our favourite Tv shows, in the magazines that we buy and all over billboards. Whatever the reason, generally humans accept that brushing your teeth is a somewhat essential part of your day. So why is it that we don’t regard self-care in the same way? 

During my time on this spinning piece of rock we call home, I have met many people who laugh at the concept of self-care; Quite literally laugh at it! “I don’t have time for that!” or “Self-care? What’s that?”. Yet we would we recoil in horror if someone said “Brushing my teeth? Who has time for that?!” The problem here is that when you say ‘Self-Care’ the instant picture conjured in most minds is that of a luxurious candle lit bubble bath. Here’s the thing, Self-care isn’t just facemasks and candle lit bubble baths! And it took me reaching my mid-thirties and a global pandemic to realise this and exactly how important self-care is. Not just important, essential. 

For most of my teenage and adult years I have struggled with my mental health. I can identify and pin-point the hardest of these times as when; I was a teenager and my Mother battled cancer (being a teenager is hard enough), In my early twenties when my Mother passed away, In my mid-late twenties when we suffered several baby losses, and then in my early thirties after my brother passed away and we experienced some real financial challenges. Following these episodes of what I class as visiting ‘rock bottom’, I would always resort to the same ‘personal rescue’ processes, I would prioritise my health, my diet and my well-being and unsurprisingly I would make swift progress to a more sparkly version of myself. Unknowingly I was teaching myself a vital lesson. 

 

My lightbulb moment, and the start of my journey into becoming a coach didn’t actually come until 2020 when the global pandemic hit. Our lives dramatically changed, it felt to many of us like a sudden earthquake had shaken the ground beneath our feet and we grabbed on to everything that felt safe, anything that gave us comfort. One of those things was self-care. I saw many people prioritising daily movement, cherishing their daily walks in the fresh air, reading books, starting a skincare routine, growing their own food, learning a new skill, or simply feeding their soul by spending quality time with their loved ones and they positively glowed as a result. They found the time to do all these things because life temporarily slowed down. They suddenly found themselves at home, furloughed off work with all this spare time to fill. Now we have returned to the rat race, so many people have ‘forgotten’ that when they prioritised themselves, they felt good. This is mainly because they don’t understand WHY they felt good. Of course, there is the logical explanation of overall health – Healthier on the inside means healthier on the outside right? But what about what it does to your BRAIN? When you prioritise yourself you actually teach your brain that you are worthy of health, worthy of happiness, worthy of TIME. From a young age we learn about the importance of our careers to secure our financial security, we are taught about relationships, how to respond to people in day-to-day life and how adult life can bring love with another person. We learn that if we become parents, we instantly become responsible for another human’s happiness and well-being. In fact, most parents would do absolutely anything to ensure the happiness of their children, whilst their own selfcare (self-love) is branded as ‘optional’. Throughout our adult lives we will frequently make effort for other people because we see their happiness as a priority. We will drop everything for our best friend when they need someone, throw surprise celebrations for birthdays/job promotions/milestones, and tell the world on our social media how proud we are of someone. Why? Because we desperately want them to know how important their existence is to us. We love them, and we love them HARD. I would even go out on a limb and say that you probably believe nobody loves them like you do, right? You have enough love to go round all your family and friends, right? It’s endless, unfaltering, abundant love, right? Well, why aren’t you loving yourself just as much right now? If you’ve got so much love to give, why aren’t you giving some to yourself?

 

Here’s the plot twist … Your children/spouse/colleagues will be happier if YOU are. By happier I don’t mean being a false ray of caffeine fuelled sunshine entering their day with a positive quote. I mean GENUINELY Happy. 

When we fuel our own happiness, our energy changes. We naturally lift everyone around us even more, ever noticed that some people just feel like sunshine? When we fuel our own happiness, we become an even better, stronger version of ourselves, achieving more, loving more … BEING more. Even the smallest regular action of love towards yourself will change how your brain works. 

Self-love or self-care is ANYTHING that makes YOU feel good. Self-care can be as basic as making sure you are drinking enough water and taking some deep meaningful breaths of fresh air, if you remind yourself that you are doing it because you are a priority then that inner narrative will begin to change. For one person self-love could mean reading a page from a book when they wake up but for another it might be dancing around the kitchen. Allow your mind to embrace self-care as a much more fluid concept, release the stereotype and let creativity flow. If it makes YOU smile until your cheeks ache and your eyes sparkle or if it makes you feel a sense of peace then it’s YOUR selfcare and that’s all that matters. 

 

I want to see self-care being prioritised in schools across the world. Teaching younger generations that it is not only an important part of life, but an essential part of your existence. Whilst in Primary School my Son had a visit from the Dentist to check his oral health, we received a letter with a ‘report’ on his oral hygiene following this visit. Do you know what stands out to me? We aren’t monitoring their mental health to the same extent. Our children’s mental health is not being prioritised like their oral health, yet if we neglect their mental health their future will be impacted even more so than if they had bad teeth. 

You brush your teeth twice a day and visit the dentist every six months because your oral health is important, it’s a priority. Yet If all your teeth fall out, you can get false teeth. Your entire existence revolves around your brain, every single day the way you function is directly controlled by your brain health. If your brain stops serving you in a positive way you cant just get yourself a false one. But we still think that self-care is optional? 

 I want us to change the narrative behind ‘self-care’ and ‘self-love’. Let’s move on from self-care being a trend and help younger generations learn how prioritising their own happiness will directly impact the rest of their world. Imagine generations to come embracing stronger mental health because we’ve taught them that prioritising yourself isn’t selfish, its essential.